Simon van der Merwe

Simon van der Merwe

Self portrait.
Technical support engineer
27 years living | 2 years 51 weeks employed at Snowball

What to say about the man of mystery. Simon van der Merwe is, as they
say in Afrikaans, “ ‘n perd van ‘n ander kleur”. Dancing
to his own tune always, he is quite the catch at that. He
hails from the mean streets of Joburg and currently
lives in Stellenbosch where he spends most of his time
fantasizing about a trip  to Mexico and writing his
children’s book about a mad, but lovable scientist.

We’ve taken to the adventure of getting to know Simon and what it is about his mad skills at Paint drawings that make us both angry and intrigued. His profile picture for this interview was handcrafted by the legend himself and here is what he had to say to our probing questions:

Name 3 words to describe your personality
I’m very laid back, “normal” and a bit of a nerd.

If you could learn one random skill, what would you learn?
Foraging. For you know, mushrooms and things

If your life was turned into a movie, what actor would you play?
Keanu Reeves. Any action movie slash sci-fi I’d say.

What is your favourite food?
Anything I don’t have to make myself basically. Although if I was a master chef, my speciality would be pizza!

Simon van der Merwe

World biggest pizza just for old simon -This pizza measures 5 metres long, and 19 centimetres in diameter and weighing 24kg

What is your favourite thing to do?
LARP. (for those who aren’t too sure, it means Live Action Role Play)

What was the first car you ever owned?
A turquoise Nissan 1400

When you were young, what was your favourite TV Show?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Name one of your most embarrassing moments:
OK, so the setting was Germany. I was walking around in the mall, wearing one of my favourite jeans. The button was broken (but the zip still intact), so I fixed it with a safety pin. I was walking in the busy arcade when the safety pin came undone and my pants dropped to the floor in front of everyone! I was carrying 2 shopping bags, so had no hands to protect myself… luckily I was wearing underpants that day!

Simon van der Merwe

Reenactment of Simon’s pants around his ankles


What is your favourite sport to watch?
Sepak Takraw.

(Mr. Wikipedia explains: Sepak Takraw is a form of kick volleyball. It’s a sport native to the Malay-Thai Peninsula. It differs from the similar sport of volleyball in its use of a rattan ball and only allowing players to use their feet, knee chest and head to touch the ball. It’s a popular sport in Southeast Asia. See? Now we all learned something new!)

Who was your childhood crush?
The Pink Power ranger… Grrr!

Simon van der Merwe

Sexy pink power ranger

Have you ever been in a fist fight?

A long time ago, yes. There was a guy that was super mean to my brother, so I clocked him one in the face! It’s the only time I’ve ever landed a hit though. The others weren’t as successful…

What is the fastest you’ve ever driven?
Not sure, my eyes were closed. It was pretty scary!

If you were an animal, what would you be?
A human

What would you do if you won 50 million in the lottery?
Probably buy new socks

If you could date any actor for a day, who would it be and why?
Keanu Reeves. He’s a pretty OK guy.

If you were going to write a book, what would you call it and what would it be about?
Dr. Shizlipz Gigantic Ball. It would be a children’s book about a mad, but lovable super-scientist. Here, I drew a picture of what the cover would look like: 

Simon van der Merwe

Dr. Shizlips


What embarrasses you?
Myself, as always.

Simon, just so you know, we’d never be embarrassed to do live action role playing with you! Always stay as sassy as you are and Snowball is lucky to have such a skilled Paint guru in the office. You stay classy San Diego 😉

If you’d like to ask Simon some questions, do drop us a comment and we’ll have Simon reply to you – maybe he’ll even throw in an autograph for you and your mom.

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